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Logen Kain 2017-06-28 19:16:32 +00:00
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<!DOCTYPE html>
<html lang="en-us">
<head>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/my.css">
<title>
Critical Sarcasm for the knees
</title>
</head>
<body>
<center><h1>Critical Sarcasm</h1></center>
<a href="http://criticalsarcasm.com">Go Home</a>
<hr>
<p><span style="color:#FF0000"> 27-Jun-2017 </span>- <a href="http://criticalsarcasm.com/posts/27-jun-2017-fuck-you-irs.html">Fuck the IRS</a></p>
<p><span style="color:#FF0000"> 26-Jun-2017 </span>- <a href="http://criticalsarcasm.com/posts/26-jun-2017-please-god-send-me-water.html">Please God, Send Me Water!</a></p>
<p><span style="color:#FF0000"> 26-Jun-2017 </span>- <a href="http://criticalsarcasm.com/posts/test.html">A test, A.K.A. First Get!</a> -- Nothing, ignore this.</p>
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body {
background-color: #000000;
}
h1 {
color: orange;
}
h2 {
color: #008000;
}
p {
color: #006400;
}
hr {
color: darkblue;
}

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<!DOCTYPE html>
<html lang="en-us">
<head>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/my.css">
<title>
Critical Sarcasm for the knees
</title>
</head>
<body>
<center><h1>Critical Sarcasm</h1></center>
<a href="http://criticalsarcasm.com">Go Home</a>
<hr>
<h2> Story Time! </h2>
<p> So there you are. Driving down the road. You pass a couple of two bit towns and think nothing of it. You're looking forward to that stop halfway between home and the city, but then it hits you. You gotta piss.</p>
<p> That doesn't seem so bad, just pull over and take a leak. But you can't. Why? Well first, you have a girl in the car and you might not want to show her just how much of an animal you really are.</p>
<p> Second, you just know that a cop who is having a shitty day is going to stop by, and the next thing you know your life will ruined as you are fined and put on the sex offender list.
That's right, our society would rather watch you slowly die as your kidneys burst, then let you piss on the side of the road. But I digress</p>
<p> So you finally make it to the next gas station which was about 70 miles away. You get out of the car and double over as your bladder let's you know that it's full. </p>
<p> After crawling to the bathroom, you just get up to the urinal and let it rip. It's at about this point that you think to yourself, "Why didn't I just piss myself in the car?" </p>
<p> Why? Because there is no water in the fucking urinal. How does that matter? Think about it. If there is no water, then you have to piss on porcelain or a rubber matt. Both of which are simply going to cover you in piss from the splash back. It's total bullshit. What are we saving? And not only do some of these things have no water in the bowl, some of them don't use water at all! How crazy is that? Now, not only am I spraying my own piss all over myself unless I manage to hit that inside rim of the bowl just perfectly so that the piss swirls around the back the urinal instead of splashing back on me, I now have other people's piss on me as well. Don't believe me? Then just go rub your hand on the back wall of a urinal. No? Didn't think so. </p>
<p> Seriously, after all that, and the piss driblets that were guarenteed to follow, why didn't I just piss myself in the car? I'm going to get back in covered in piss anyway, so what's the difference? </p>
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<!DOCTYPE html>
<html lang="en-us">
<head>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/my.css">
<title>
Critical Sarcasm for the knees
</title>
</head>
<body>
<center><h1>Critical Sarcasm</h1></center>
<a href="http://criticalsarcasm.com">Go Home</a>
<hr>
<h2> What the fuck IRS??? </h2>
<p> So there I was, the school says, "We need your tax transcripts!" Okay, sure, whatever. I'm broke, I'd like the free money so, let's head on over to irs.gov.</p>
<p> What now? Click on "get a transcript," okay, easy enough. Online or mail? Online of course. </p>
<p> Holy fuck! Why do you need so much info just to get a transcript? Okay, here's my name, email, birth date, SSN, tax filing status, and address. Cool. Okay, now I need a credit card or some sort of loan? Alright I guess.... I can't use an American Express card to verify myself. Huh. I guess if you don't want the government snooping around, AMEX might be the way to go. </p>
<p> Anyway, here's a credit card number, great, let's move on. </p>
<p> Now I need a mobile number, no big deal right? WRONG! I currently have three numbers. One via Google Voice, one via Naked Mobile, and one via Ting (t-mobile). Up front they say US based and no pre-pay. Well shit. Not even going to bother with Google voice then, so let's try Ting. Nope. Doesn't like it. Okay, How about Naked Mobile? No? Let's try Ting again with a different format. Oh, new screen, cool. That must have done it. Oh? </p>
<p>...</p>
<p>Fuck...</p>
<p>Now, I don't remember the exact wording, but it was something like this: "Okay, since your mobile number isn't working, we'll send you something via mail so you can activate your account. Oh, and you'll need a mobile that works with our system after that in order to use the online service."</P>
<p> What kind of dumb shit is that? My phone doesn't work so you want to send me snail mail in order to activate a service that requires my phone that doesn't work? Fuck you. </p>
<p> Oh, but it gets worse. After giving up for a third time or so with the online method I said, "Fuck it. Guess I'll just get it via mail." </p>
<p> Alright, "get transcript", yada yada, do it via mail. Okay, okay. Here's my SSN, here's my address, here's my date of birth... What? That's it? You're sending me my transcripts?</p>
<p> Why the fuck do I need to jump through so many hoops to get my transcripts online, but for snail mail... No phone... No credit card... No loan.. No email.. No filing status... IRS? Fuck you.</p>
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<!DOCTYPE html>
<html lang="en-us">
<head>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/my.css">
<title>
Critical Sarcasm for the knees
</title>
</head>
<body>
<center><h1>Critical Sarcasm</h1></center>
<a href="http://criticalsarcasm.com">Go Home</a>
<hr>
<h2> Some Stupid Thing With Less Bias </h2>
<p> Dogs are now talking to cats with mice on their heads. </p>
<hr>
<h2> Oh Fuck That Shit </h2>
<p> You know, dogs are fine. Hell, dogs are pretty cool, some of my best friends are dogs, but this is complete bullshit. </p>
<p> Seriously, how the hell does this make sense? Cats can't even fucking understand dogs, so fuck... This is obviously fake news. </p>
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