# Critical Sarcasm for the knees

# Old Ass Sudotask

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## Please? Fuck you

a.) Will you please grab me a soda? b.) Will you grab me a soda? c.) Grab me a soda. d.) Please grab me a soda.

Which one is the most pleasant to hear? Let us discuss each one.

Will you please grab me a soda?

What's going on here? Someone is asking you to grab them a soda which is fine, but they added the word please. Why would they do that? Perhaps it is just to be polite because that is how they have been indoctrinated throughout their lives, but more likely reason for people will say words like that simply because it could increase the likelihood of their desires to be met. In other words, they tend to get what they want more often if they ask with please.

Will you grab me a soda? Seems pretty straight forward, no words added to trick or brown nose anyone into performing an action for them. Awesome.

Grab me a soda.

Most people respond rather poorly to this style. It is clearly a command and people tend to dislike being ordered to do things. The first thing that most people likely think will be around the lines of You can go fuck yourself. Which leads us to our next little devious ploy.

Please grab me a soda.

For some strange reason, the same people angered about being ordered around by the last option, have no issue with this one. Hell, many people will even argue that this is actually a question and not a command. Why? Why does saying please suddenly make it okay to order people around? This is ludicrous.

So what's the point? Let's stop using silly words like please to order people around. Let's just ask questions like humans and avoid the extra brown-nosing bullshit.

So what do you think? Should we do away with saying please? Again, I might simply be bat shit insane. Saying please is just a bullshitty way of sugar coating a command, or trying to con someone with an under handed slight in a question. Let me know below.