# Critical Sarcasm for the knees

# Critical Sarcasm

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## What the fuck IRS???

So there I was, the school says, "We need your tax transcripts!" Okay, sure, whatever. I'm broke, I'd like the free money so, let's head on over to irs.gov.

What now? Click on "get a transcript," okay, easy enough. Online or mail? Online of course.

Holy fuck! Why do you need so much info just to get a transcript? Okay, here's my name, email, birth date, SSN, tax filing status, and address. Cool. Okay, now I need a credit card or some sort of loan? Alright I guess.... I can't use an American Express card to verify myself. Huh. I guess if you don't want the government snooping around, AMEX might be the way to go.

Anyway, here's a credit card number, great, let's move on.

Now I need a mobile number, no big deal right? WRONG! I currently have three numbers. One via Google Voice, one via Naked Mobile, and one via Ting (t-mobile). Up front they say US based and no pre-pay. Well shit. Not even going to bother with Google voice then, so let's try Ting. Nope. Doesn't like it. Okay, How about Naked Mobile? No? Let's try Ting again with a different format. Oh, new screen, cool. That must have done it. Oh?

...

Fuck...

Now, I don't remember the exact wording, but it was something like this: "Okay, since your mobile number isn't working, we'll send you something via mail so you can activate your account. Oh, and you'll need a mobile that works with our system after that in order to use the online service."

What kind of dumb shit is that? My phone doesn't work so you want to send me snail mail in order to activate a service that requires my phone that doesn't work? Fuck you.

Oh, but it gets worse. After giving up for a third time or so with the online method I said, "Fuck it. Guess I'll just get it via mail."

Alright, "get transcript", yada yada, do it via mail. Okay, okay. Here's my SSN, here's my address, here's my date of birth... What? That's it? You're sending me my transcripts?

Why the fuck do I need to jump through so many hoops to get my transcripts online, but for snail mail... No phone... No credit card... No loan.. No email.. No filing status... IRS? Fuck you.