# Critical Sarcasm for the knees

# Old Ass Sudotask

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## I'm Sorry? No, You're Not

Why do people apologize so often? Apologies should be reserved only for things that weren't intended, but even then... Why the hell would you say "sorry" for an accident?

When would someone apologize for something? There are two situations that people tend to feel the need to say I'm sorry:

- When something is done intentionally that also happens to make someone else feel bad.
- When something is done unintentionally that makes someone feel bad.

In either case, it is said so people can feel better about themselves and attempt to absolve themselves from guilt.

I'm sorry, but you're an asshole.

No, you are the asshole. If you want to attack someone, why take it back?

Oh, shit, sorry. I didn't mean to kick you in the face.

Assuming the person speaking is honest, why would (s)he say "sorry"? No harm was intended, intent is king, so what is there to say sorry for? Doing some unintentional thing? Someone getting hit in the [em]crossfire[/em]?

This is really the only time an apology can actually mean anything, and it is still someone pointless considering the intent was not to hurt. It would be much better to simply inform the other person that it was unintended.

Back to the question of when people decide they need to apologize. A lot of times people like to voice their opinion and try to take it back before anyone can complain by saying sorry.

Like the first situation above, this asshole actually apologizes before voicing his shitty opinion. Many people will say something along the lines of "I'm sorry, but [insert bullshit opinion here.]"

No, you are not sorry asshole. If you feel you should be sorry about something before you say it, you wouldn't fucking say it.

An honest apology would be a regret. Something you wish to take back. Regretting is a silly thing to even consider. What is the old saying? Never regret because at some point you wanted to do it? This leads straight into another problem.

I don't regret telling you that you suck at guitar. I'm sorry, but it's true.

Holy shit, that is the biggest bullshit of them all that people might say. Let's rip this apart:

I don't regret telling you... Well no shit, you're giving me your opinion.

I'm sorry, but it's true. What? Didn't you just tell me you didn't regret voicing your opinion? But still you apologize? So you regret saying the thing? But you already said you don't?

Oh I get it, you are just trying to feel good about yourself giving non-constructive criticism of someone else's ability and get away with it. You're just being an asshole, yet still look like the good guy.

Apologies can never be sincere. Either something happened that was an accident (which isn't the apologizer's fault), or it was intentional, in which case the person apologizing is just a dick.

Perhaps there is a bit of a theme here. I'm not a fan of many words that are polite. People either use them to get away with shit, or simply because they were taught that they are supposed to say these things, in which case it is useless extra words. The only polite words I'm ok with involve gratitude. Even then it is simply a ploy to get someone to think better of you. Tell me how I'm wrong below!